Chapter 3: The Man Who Said He Was Fine
Sarah opened the door.
Ben was sitting inside.
For a moment, she forgot how to breathe.
He looked tired. His appearance was different from the man who had kissed her goodbye that morning and promised to call later.
But he was there.
He was looking at her.
“Sarah?””
She took two steps forward.
“Ben...””
Her voice broke.
She put the paper bag on the small table beside the bed and approached him.
“What's happening to you?””
Ben looked at her, then at Dr. Arnold standing behind her.
“Why did you come?””
Sarah stopped.
It wasn't the question she had expected.
She had imagined him smiling, reaching for her hand, or perhaps apologizing for making her worry.
Instead, he looked almost frightened.
“I came to see my husband,” she answered.
Ben lowered his eyes.
“You shouldn't have come.””
Sarah stared at him.
“Excuse me?””
“I told you not to worry about me.””
“You told me you were fine!””
“I am handling it.””
Sarah gave a short, disbelieving laugh.
“Handling what, Ben?””
He didn't answer.
She pointed toward the paper bag.
“I brought you cake. I thought you might like something from home.””
Ben glanced at it.
“Sarah, please.””
“Please what?””
“Don't make this harder.””
Those words hurt more than she expected.
Sarah pulled a chair closer and sat beside him.
“Ben, someone at reception slapped me.””
His head lifted.
“What?””
“She called me heartless. She said you were suffering and that I was walking around smiling.””
Ben looked toward Arnold.
“Who did that?””
Arnold answered calmly.
“Emily.””
Ben closed his eyes briefly.
“Why would she do that?””
“That's what I'd like to know,” Sarah replied.
She leaned closer.
“She seemed convinced I knew something. She accused me of leaving you alone.””
Ben said nothing.
Sarah studied his face.
“Did you tell her something about me?””
“No.””
“Did you tell anyone that I abandoned you?””
“No, Sarah.””
“Then why does everyone look at me like I'm a terrible wife?””
Ben rubbed his forehead.
“I didn't want you involved.””
Sarah's eyes widened.
“I'm already involved! I'm your wife!””
“I know.””
“Do you?””
Ben looked away.
The silence between them became unbearable.
Sarah slowly reached for his hand.
He allowed her to hold it, but his fingers remained tense.
“Look at me,” she whispered.
He did.
“I have been waiting for you to tell me what's wrong. Every night, I watch you come home exhausted. Every morning, I ask if you need anything. You keep telling me everything is okay.””
Ben swallowed.
“I didn't want to burden you.””
Sarah shook her head.
“You don't get to decide that I don't deserve the truth.””
Arnold remained near the door.
He seemed to want to intervene, but Sarah continued.
“Do you remember when we first moved into our apartment?””
Ben looked confused.
“What?””
“The kitchen was so small that we couldn't open the refrigerator and the cupboard at the same time.””
A faint smile appeared on Ben's face.
“You kept hitting your elbow.””
“And you kept blaming the cupboard.””
For a brief moment, they both smiled.
Sarah looked at him with tears in her eyes.
“That was our life, Ben. We didn't have much space, but we had each other. We promised we wouldn't hide important things.””
His smile disappeared.
“I remember.””
“Then why are you doing this?””
Ben's eyes became wet.
“Because I thought it was better this way.””
Sarah slowly released his hand.
“Better for whom?””
He didn't answer.
Arnold stepped forward.
“Ben, perhaps you should tell her what you told me.””
Ben looked sharply at him.
“Not now.””
“She's already here.””
“I said not now.””
Sarah stood up.
“Stop!””
Both men looked at her.
She took a shaky breath.
“I don't want another conversation where everyone speaks around me. I don't want another person telling me to wait. I want to know what is happening.””
Ben looked down at the blanket.
“Sarah, I can't explain everything.””
“Why?””
“Because there are things you don't understand.””
“Then explain them!””
His voice rose.
“It's not that simple!””
Sarah stepped back.
The sudden sharpness in his voice made her flinch.
Ben immediately looked regretful.
“I'm sorry.””
Sarah pressed her lips together.
For a few seconds, neither spoke.
Then she picked up the paper bag and placed it closer to him.
“I didn't come here to fight.””
Ben looked at the cake.
“I know.””
“I came because I missed you.””
His eyes dropped.
Sarah continued.
“I thought maybe we could eat a little cake together. You could tell me about your day. I could tell you about mine. For once, we could pretend things were normal.””
Ben's expression changed.
He reached toward the bag but stopped halfway.
“Sarah, don't.””
“Don't what?””
“Don't keep coming here.””
She stared at him.
The words landed like another slap.
“Are you asking me to leave?””
Ben looked away.
“I'm asking you to go home.””
Sarah's voice became barely audible.
“Do you not want me here?””
He remained silent.
Arnold stepped toward the bedside.
“Ben, this is becoming more difficult than it needs to be.””
Ben turned toward him.
“You promised.””
Arnold's expression hardened.
“I promised to respect your wishes as far as I could. I never promised to let your wife remain completely in the dark.””
Sarah slowly turned toward the doctor.
“What promise?””
Neither man answered.
She looked between them.
“What are you two hiding from me?””
Ben closed his eyes.
“Sarah, please go home. I'll call you.””
“When?””
“Soon.””
“You always say soon.””
He didn't respond.
Sarah picked up the cake bag again.
She stood beside the bed for another moment, hoping he would change his mind.
He didn't.
Finally, she turned toward the door.
But as she reached it, Arnold spoke.
“Sarah, wait.””
She stopped.
Arnold looked at Ben.
Then he looked at her.
“There's something I think you should see before you leave.””
Ben suddenly sat forward.
“Arnold, don't!””
Sarah turned around.
“What is it?””
Arnold reached into the folder he had been carrying and removed a sealed envelope.
He held it in his hand but didn't immediately give it to her.
“Ben brought this to me some time ago,” he explained.
Ben's voice became urgent.
“Put that away.””
Arnold didn't move.
Sarah stared at the envelope.
“What's inside?””
Arnold looked at Ben one final time.
“It's something he wanted kept from you.””
Sarah slowly approached.
“Why would my husband give you something that was supposed to be kept from me?””
Ben's face had gone pale.
“Sarah, listen to me.””
She stopped in front of Arnold.
He finally placed the envelope on the table.
Sarah looked down.
Her name was written across the front.
Not the name of a patient.
Not a hospital department.
Her name.
In Ben's handwriting.
She looked at her husband.
“Ben... what did you write to me?””
Ben's eyes filled with tears.
And then, for the first time since she had entered the room, he said something that made Arnold look away.
May you like
“That's the one thing I never wanted you to find.””
*Sarah reached for the envelope.*
