Chapter 5 - The Conversation We Couldn't Avoid
The following Friday, Simone and I sat across from each other at the kitchen table.
Between us was a notebook.
Inside it, we'd written down practical things.
Caleb's school schedule.
My work shifts.
Her work shifts.
Household expenses.
Possible temporary living arrangements.
There were no dramatic declarations in that notebook.
No promises that everything would be okay.
Just the ordinary details we had to handle responsibly.
Simone's sister, Angela, lived twenty minutes away.
She had offered Simone a room while we worked through our separation.
I would remain in the house with Caleb for the time being, and we would arrange regular time for him to see his mother.
We both agreed that Caleb needed stability and that any longer-term parenting arrangements would have to be decided carefully.
Simone looked at the notebook.
“So that's it?”
I kept my hands folded.
“That's what I think we need right now.”
“Andre, I've ended things with Daniel.”
“I heard you.”
“I've asked about transferring to another location.”
“I appreciate that.”
She stared at me.
“Then why are you still doing this?”
I took a moment before answering.
“Because those are things you should do if you want to change. They don't erase what happened.”
Her face tightened.
“I've apologized every day.”
“I know.”
“What else do you want me to say?”
I looked at her.
“Nothing new.”
She blinked.
“I don't need another speech, Simone. I need time to understand whether I can ever trust you again.”
She looked down.
Then she asked, “Do you still love me?”
That question hurt more than I expected.
I remembered our wedding.
The tiny apartment we'd shared before buying the house.
The night Caleb was born, when she held him against her chest and laughed through tears because he had so much hair.
I remembered a thousand ordinary moments that had been real.
“Yes,” I answered.
Her eyes widened.
“Then why can't we fix this together?”
“Because loving you doesn't mean I can ignore what happened.”
She began crying.
I wanted to reach for her.
But I remained where I was.
After a while, she wiped her cheeks.
“Okay.”
It was the quietest she'd been since the phone call.
“Okay,” she repeated. “I'll stay with Angela.”
We spent the afternoon preparing to tell Caleb.
The counselor had helped us understand what he needed to hear.
Not who was more hurt.
Not which adult was responsible for ending the marriage.
Not details about Daniel.
He needed to know that both parents loved him, that he hadn't caused the separation, and that he would continue to be cared for.
Before we called him downstairs, Simone stopped me in the hallway.
“Andre?”
I turned.
“I never meant to involve him.”
I looked at her.
“But you did.”
She nodded.
“I know.”
I could see the shame on her face.
For once, she didn't ask me to make it easier.
We went into the living room together.
Caleb was building a tower from plastic blocks.
“Hey, buddy,” I said. “Can we talk for a minute?”
He looked at us.
“Am I in trouble?”
“No,” Simone said quickly.
He sat on the couch.
I sat beside him.
Simone took the chair across from us.
I explained that Mom and Dad had been having problems and had decided to live in separate homes for a while.
Caleb stared at me.
“Like when Aunt Angela moved?”
“Something like that.”
He looked at Simone.
“Where are you going?”
“To Aunt Angela's house, sweetheart.”
“Can I see you?”
“Of course,” she said. “We're going to make a plan so you know when we'll be together.”
He looked down.
“Did you get mad because I answered your phone?”
Simone's face crumpled.
She moved closer to him.
“No, baby.”
He didn't look up.
She knelt in front of him.
“Mommy made some grown-up choices that hurt Daddy. Those choices were mine.”
Caleb stared at her.
“You mean Uncle Daniel?”
Simone swallowed.
“Yes. That's part of it.”
I put my hand on Caleb's shoulder.
“You didn't cause any of this. You couldn't have prevented it, and you don't have to fix it.”
He started crying.
Simone reached toward him, then waited.
Caleb moved into her arms.
She held him.
I sat beside them.
None of us pretended that one conversation could make everything better.
Later, Simone went upstairs to pack.
I helped Caleb finish his block tower.
He didn't say much.
Just before dinner, I heard suitcase wheels moving along the hallway.
Simone came downstairs carrying a small overnight bag.
Caleb saw it.
He stood up.
“Mom?”
She stopped.
“Yes, baby?”
He looked at the bag.
Then at me.
“Does this mean we're not a family anymore?”
Simone turned toward me.
May you like
For the first time in our marriage, neither of us had an easy answer.
And whatever we said next would become part of the way our son remembered this day.
