Chapter 2 - The Twenty Years I Had Forgotten
I called Calvin six times that afternoon.
He didn't answer.
At first, I was angry.
I told myself that he was being unfair. He had offered to pay for the wedding. He couldn't suddenly use that money against me just because he disliked one decision.
But every time I looked at the white envelope, I heard his voice.
"Your real father."
I had said those words without thinking.
Now I couldn't stop thinking about them.
My fiancé, Gabriel Turner, arrived around four.
He found me sitting on the living room floor, still wearing the bottom half of my wedding dress because I'd lost the energy to change.
"What happened?" he asked.
I handed him the envelope.
He examined the pages.
"Why do you have all the wedding invoices?"
"Calvin gave them to me."
"Why?"
I explained the argument.
Gabriel listened without interrupting.
When I finished, he sat beside me.
"Naomi, why didn't you tell him about Julian sooner?"
"I didn't know how."
"So you waited until twelve days before the wedding?"
I looked away.
Gabriel rubbed his forehead.
"He's been talking about walking you down that aisle since we got engaged."
"I know."
"He helped us choose the venue. He paid every deposit. He even asked me whether I preferred him on your left or right so he wouldn't get in your way."
I pressed my lips together.
Gabriel looked at the receipts again.
"That doesn't mean he gets to control your wedding. But can you understand why he's hurt?"
I wanted to say no.
Instead, I remembered my eighth birthday.
My classmates had been invited to a skating rink.
I had spent most of that afternoon watching the entrance.
My mother had told me not to expect Julian.
But some part of me believed he might appear.
He didn't.
Calvin was the one who tightened my roller skates.
He held my hands while I struggled around the rink, then spent the next morning complaining that his back was finished.
At eleven, I broke my wrist falling off a bicycle.
Calvin left a job site and arrived at the emergency room covered in sawdust.
At fifteen, I failed an important math exam.
He sat at the kitchen table with me for three evenings, patiently working through problems he admitted he barely remembered.
At eighteen, when my mother was too sick to attend my graduation, Calvin sat in the audience holding his phone up so she could watch from her hospital bed.
None of those memories had disappeared.
I had simply stopped giving them the importance they deserved.
Six months earlier, Julian had sent me a message on social media.
He told me he'd spent years regretting his absence.
He said he wanted to know the woman I'd become.
I was cautious at first.
Then we met for coffee.
He had my eyes.
We laughed at the same silly jokes.
He remembered that I used to eat strawberries until my lips turned red.
Those small things meant more to me than I knew how to explain.
For most of my life, I'd imagined what meeting him might feel like.
When it finally happened, I wanted everything to be perfect.
Maybe that was why I kept ignoring the uncomfortable questions.
Why had he waited so long?
Why hadn't he written?
Why had he never returned when I was old enough to contact him myself?
Whenever the conversation approached those questions, Julian became quiet.
And I let him.
Because I was afraid that asking too much might make him disappear again.
Gabriel interrupted my thoughts.
"Have you told Julian about the argument?"
"Not yet."
"You should."
I called him.
Julian answered cheerfully.
"Hey, baby girl. Everything all right?"
I swallowed.
"I told Calvin about the wedding."
"And?"
"He was hurt."
Julian sighed.
"Well, I figured he'd have some feelings about it."
"He gave me all the wedding bills."
There was a pause.
"What bills?"
"The wedding. Fifty-two thousand dollars."
"Fifty-two thousand?"
"He's paid for everything."
Julian was silent for several seconds.
Then he said, "Well, that's between you and Calvin. I wasn't involved in planning all that."
I looked at the envelope.
"He told me to give the bill to my real father."
Julian let out a short, uncomfortable laugh.
"Sounds like he's taking things personally."
I felt something twist inside my chest.
"Of course he's taking it personally."
"I understand that he's upset, Naomi. But I'm your biological father. I thought we agreed this was an important chance for us."
"We did."
"Then don't let his feelings ruin your wedding."
I stared at the opposite wall.
He changed the subject.
"Anyway, did you confirm the photographer knows I'll be walking you? I don't want there to be any confusion when they organize the family pictures."
After we hung up, I sat quietly beside Gabriel.
For the first time, I noticed something troubling.
Calvin had been asking where he belonged in my life.
May you like
Julian had been asking where he would stand in the photographs.
And I was beginning to wonder whether I'd mistaken those two questions for the same thing.
