Chapter 6: The Visitor in the Dark
Denise arrived at seven forty-five the next morning carrying aise arrived at seven forty-five the next morning carrying a canvas bag and a face that told me she had not slept.
I had spent canvas bag and a face that told me she had not slept.
I had spent the night on the couch outside Michael's bedroom. He had fallen asleep shortly after midnight, exhausted by the night on the couch outside Michael's bedroom. He had fallen asleep shortly after midnight, exhausted by the previous evening, but I had remained awake, the previous evening, but I had remained awake, listening for footsteps and replaying every conversation in my head.
Sarah had stayed in our bedroom.
We listening for footsteps and replaying every conversation in my head.
Sarah had stayed in our bedroom.
We had not spoken again.
When the doorbell rang, Michael appeared at the top of the stairs in his black had not spoken again.
When the doorbell rang, Michael appeared at the top of the stairs in his black hoodie. His hair was uncombed, and dark circles shadowed his eyes.
“Is that Aunt hoodie. His hair was uncombed, and dark circles shadowed his eyes.
“Is that Aunt Denise?””
“Yes.””
“Can I come down?””
“Of course.””
He descended slowly, one hand trailing along the banister. I waited Denise?””
“Yes.””
“Can I come down?””
“Of course.””
He descended slowly, one hand trailing along the banister. I waited until he reached the bottom before putting my arm around him.
Denise was standing in the foyer when we arrived.
until he reached the bottom before putting my arm around him.
Denise was standing in the foyer when we arrived.
The moment she saw Michael, her expression changed.
“Oh, sweetheart.””
She openedThe moment she saw Michael, her expression changed.
“Oh, sweetheart.””
She opened her arms, and he stepped into them.
Denise had been close to Renee. They had met in college, and she had been one of the few people her arms, and he stepped into them.
Denise had been close to Renee. They had met in college, and she had been one of the few people who could make Renee laugh even when life became difficult. After Renee died, Denise helped who could make Renee laugh even when life became difficult. After Renee died, Denise helped me with Michael, never trying to replace his mother, never making him feel that his grief was something he needed to apologize for.
When she pulled back, she cu me with Michael, never trying to replace his mother, never making him feel that his grief was something he needed to apologize for.
When she pulled back, she cupped his face in her hands.
“You look so much like her.””
Michael's eyes filled.
“I miss her.””
“I know, baby.””
She kissedpped his face in her hands.
“You look so much like her.””
Michael's eyes filled.
“I miss her.””
“I know, baby.””
She kissed his forehead.
“And you're allowed to miss her for as long as you need.””
Across his forehead.
“And you're allowed to miss her for as long as you need.””
Across the foyer, Sarah appeared at the top of the staircase.
She wore a gray sweater and black trousers. Her hair was tied back, the foyer, Sarah appeared at the top of the staircase.
She wore a gray sweater and black trousers. Her hair was tied back, and her face looked drawn.
“Denise,” she said.
My sister turned.
“Sarah.””
There was no warmth in the greeting and her face looked drawn.
“Denise,” she said.
My sister turned.
“Sarah.””
There was no warmth in the greeting.
Sarah descended the stairs, looking at the canvas bag.
“What did you bring?””
“Something that belongs to Michael.””
Sarah's jaw.
Sarah descended the stairs, looking at the canvas bag.
“What did you bring?””
“Something that belongs to Michael.””
Sarah's jaw tightened.
“Is this really necessary?””
Denise looked at her steadily.
“After what you've tightened.
“Is this really necessary?””
Denise looked at her steadily.
“After what you've done? Yes.””
I stepped between them before the argument could begin.
“Let's sit down.””
We gathered in the living room. Michael sat beside me, while done? Yes.””
I stepped between them before the argument could begin.
“Let's sit down.””
We gathered in the living room. Michael sat beside me, while Jordan appeared a few minutes later and took the chair nearest the window. Sarah remained standing until Denise placed Jordan appeared a few minutes later and took the chair nearest the window. Sarah remained standing until Denise placed the canvas bag on the coffee table.
“I want everybody to understand something,” Denise began.
“I'm not here to attack anyone. I'm here because my mother left instructions the canvas bag on the coffee table.
“I want everybody to understand something,” Denise began.
“I'm not here to attack anyone. I'm here because my mother left instructions, and those instructions were ignored.””
She opened the bag and removed a small manila envelope.
“This contains, and those instructions were ignored.””
She opened the bag and removed a small manila envelope.
“This contains copies of the photographs Mom took when she packed Renee's belongings after the funeral. She copies of the photographs Mom took when she packed Renee's belongings after the funeral. She kept them because she wanted to make sure nothing was lost.””
Michael leaned forward.
“Does it show the box?””
“Yes.””
Denise pulled out several photographs and spread them across the table.
There kept them because she wanted to make sure nothing was lost.””
Michael leaned forward.
“Does it show the box?””
“Yes.””
Denise pulled out several photographs and spread them across the table.
There was my mother's bedroom, with its pale curtains and old wooden dresser. There was my mother's bedroom, with its pale curtains and old wooden dresser. There was a cardboard box filled with folded clothes. Another photograph showed the walnut keepsake box sitting on a shelf beside a stack of albums.
Michael reached for the photograph.
was a cardboard box filled with folded clothes. Another photograph showed the walnut keepsake box sitting on a shelf beside a stack of albums.
Michael reached for the photograph.
His fingers trembled.
“That's it.””
Denise nodded.
“Your grandmother labeled it herself. She wanted everybody to know it belonged to youHis fingers trembled.
“That's it.””
Denise nodded.
“Your grandmother labeled it herself. She wanted everybody to know it belonged to you.””
Sarah looked away.
Denise removed a folded sheet of paper from the envelope.
“This is the note Mom left with the photographs.””
Sarah looked away.
Denise removed a folded sheet of paper from the envelope.
“This is the note Mom left with the photographs.””
She unfolded it and began reading.
“*To Marcus and Denise.””
She unfolded it and began reading.
“*To Marcus and Denise: If Michael ever asks about the walnut box, please give him the letters and photographs together. They belong to him. Do not separate them because you are uncomfortable with the past. He: If Michael ever asks about the walnut box, please give him the letters and photographs together.
They belong to him. Do not separate them because you are uncomfortable with the past. He deserves to know his mother as a whole person, not merely as a memory everyone else has decided to preserve.*”
Denise paused.
Michael lowered his head.
She continued.
“ deserves to know his mother as a whole person, not merely as a memory everyone else has decided to preserve.”
Denise paused.
Michael lowered his head.
She continued.
“*There is one letter addressed to Marcus that I have not opened. Renee gave it to me before she died and asked me to keep it withThere is one letter addressed to Marcus that I have not opened. Renee gave it to me before she died and asked me to keep it with Michael's things until he was old enough to decide what he wanted to do with it.
I promised her I would Michael's things until he was old enough to decide what he wanted to do with it. I promised her I would not read it or give it to anyone without Michael's consent.*”
I stared at my sister.
“Renee gave Mom a letter before she died?””
Denise nodded.
“ not read it or give it to anyone without Michael's consent.*”
I stared at my sister.
“Renee gave Mom a letter before she died?””
Denise nodded.
“Apparently.””
“Why didn't Mom tell me?””
“She wanted to honor Renee's request.””
I rubbed my forehead.
“What else does the note say?””
DenApparently.””
“Why didn't Mom tell me?””
“She wanted to honor Renee's request.””
I rubbed my forehead.
“What else does the note say?””
Denise looked at the paper.
“Only that she was worried somebody might try to take the box beforeise looked at the paper.
“Only that she was worried somebody might try to take the box before Michael was ready.””
The room went silent.
Sarah sank into a chair.
I Michael was ready.””
The room went silent.
Sarah sank into a chair.
I turned toward her.
“Did you know about this note?””
She shook her head.
“Then how did you turned toward her.
“Did you know about this note?””
She shook her head.
“Then how did you know there was a letter?””
“I found it.””
“In the box?””
“Yes.””
“When?””
She hesitated.
“About a month ago.””
know there was a letter?””
“I found it.””
“In the box?””
“Yes.””
“When?””
She hesitated.
“About a month ago.””
Michael looked at her in disbelief.
“A month?””
Sarah closed her eyes.
“I wasn'tMichael looked at her in disbelief.
“A month?””
Sarah closed her eyes.
“I wasn't looking for it. I was cleaning your room, and I saw the box. I opened it because I thought there might be something looking for it.
I was cleaning your room, and I saw the box. I opened it because I thought there might be something inside that needed to be put away.””
“You opened it?”” Michael whispered.
“I didn't think it would matter.””
“It was mine!””
“I know.””
“No, inside that needed to be put away.””
“You opened it?”” Michael whispered.
“I didn't think it would matter.””
“It was mine!””
“I know.””
“No, you don't!”” His voice cracked.
“You never ask before you touch my things. You never ask what you don't!”” His voice cracked.
“You never ask before you touch my things. You never ask what matters to me. You just decide that if you don't understand something, it must be worthless.””
matters to me. You just decide that if you don't understand something, it must be worthless.””
Sarah's eyes filled with tears.
Michael stood.
“I want my box back.””
Denise roseSarah's eyes filled with tears.
Michael stood.
“I want my box back.””
Denise rose too.
“We'll find it.””
I looked at Sarah.
“Who was the man Jordan saw?””
too.
“We'll find it.””
I looked at Sarah.
“Who was the man Jordan saw?””
She shook her head.
“I don't know what he's talking about.””
Jordan stood abruptly.
“Yes, you do.””
SarahShe shook her head.
“I don't know what he's talking about.””
Jordan stood abruptly.
“Yes, you do.””
Sarah stared at him.
“Jordan, sit down.””
“No.””
His voice shook, but he did not back away.
“I stared at him.
“Jordan, sit down.””
“No.””
His voice shook, but he did not back away.
“I heard him. I heard him ask about Renee's things. I saw you let him into the storage room.””
Sarah's face heard him. I heard him ask about Renee's things. I saw you let him into the storage room.””
Sarah's face lost its color.
“Who was he?”” I demanded.
She pressed her hands lost its color.
“Who was he?”” I demanded.
She pressed her hands together.
“I can't tell you.””
“Why?””
“Because you won't understand.””
“Try me.””
She looked at Michael, then at Jordan.
Finally, she whispered, “His name is David.””
The name meant nothing to me together.
“I can't tell you.””
“Why?””
“Because you won't understand.””
“Try me.””
She looked at Michael, then at Jordan.
Finally, she whispered, “His name is David.””
The name meant nothing to me.
“David who?””
“I don't know his last name.””
“You invited a man into our home.
“David who?””
“I don't know his last name.””
“You invited a man into our home, allowed him to search through my son's belongings, and you don't know his last name?””
“He didn't search anything!””
Jordan, allowed him to search through my son's belongings, and you don't know his last name?””
“He didn't search anything!””
Jordan shook his head.
“You let him look through the boxes.””
“That's enough!””
shook his head.
“You let him look through the boxes.””
“That's enough!””
“No,” I said.
“It isn't.””
I stood and walked toward Sarah.
“Why“No,” I said.
“It isn't.””
I stood and walked toward Sarah.
“Why was he here?””
She looked down at her hands.
“He was asking questions about Renee.””
“What kind of questions?””
“About her illness. About was he here?””
She looked down at her hands.
“He was asking questions about Renee.””
“What kind of questions?””
“About her illness. About her last days. About the things she left behind.””
I stared at her.
“How did he know Renee her last days. About the things she left behind.””
I stared at her.
“How did he know Renee?””
“I don't know.””
“You expect me to believe a stranger came into our home asking about my dead wife, and you never asked him why?””
“He wasn't a complete stranger.””
“Then who was he?””
Sarah's eyes?””
“I don't know.””
“You expect me to believe a stranger came into our home asking about my dead wife, and you never asked him why?””
“He wasn't a complete stranger.””
“Then who was he?””
Sarah's eyes moved toward Jordan.
Jordan looked confused.
“What?”” he asked.
She shook her head.
moved toward Jordan.
Jordan looked confused.
“What?”” he asked.
She shook her head.
I felt a cold certainty settling over me.
“Sarah, whatever you are hiding, it is already hurting everybody in this roomI felt a cold certainty settling over me.
“Sarah, whatever you are hiding, it is already hurting everybody in this room. If you know something about Renee's final days, tell us now.””
Sarah began to cry.
“I didn't know who else to ask.””
“Ask about. If you know something about Renee's final days, tell us now.””
Sarah began to cry.
“I didn't know who else to ask.””
“Ask about what?””
She looked at me.
“Whether Renee had left anything behind that could explain what happened.””
“What what?””
She looked at me.
“Whether Renee had left anything behind that could explain what happened.””
“What happened?””
Sarah covered her face.
For several seconds, she couldn't speak.
Then she lowered her hands.
“David told happened?””
Sarah covered her face.
For several seconds, she couldn't speak.
Then she lowered her hands.
“David told me that Renee had been afraid of somebody. He said she believed someone was keeping information from her.””
I felt as though the room had tilted.
“ me that Renee had been afraid of somebody. He said she believed someone was keeping information from her.””
I felt as though the room had tilted.
“Who?””
“He wouldn't tell me.””
“And you believed him?””
Who?””
“He wouldn't tell me.””
“And you believed him?””
“I didn't know what to believe!””
“So you took my son's box?””
“I wanted to know if there was anything“I didn't know what to believe!””
“So you took my son's box?””
“I wanted to know if there was anything that could confirm what he said.””
“Did you find something?””
Sarah looked at the canvas bag.
“No.””
Denise's expression hardened.
“Then why did you keep the letter?””
“Because it that could confirm what he said.””
“Did you find something?””
Sarah looked at the canvas bag.
“No.””
Denise's expression hardened.
“Then why did you keep the letter?””
“Because it mentioned the night Renee died.””
I took a slow breath.
“Tell me exactly what you read.””
Sarah wiped her mentioned the night Renee died.””
I took a slow breath.
“Tell me exactly what you read.””
Sarah wiped her cheeks.
“It said she was waiting for someone. It said she was afraid cheeks.
“It said she was waiting for someone. It said she was afraid she might not have enough time to explain what she'd discovered.””
My heart she might not have enough time to explain what she'd discovered.””
My heart pounded.
“Discovered what?””
“I don't know.””
“You keep saying you don't know. But you took the letter, hid it, and brought a stranger into this house. pounded.
“Discovered what?””
“I don't know.””
“You keep saying you don't know. But you took the letter, hid it, and brought a stranger into this house. You must have some idea what You must have some idea what you're looking for.””
She looked at me with exhausted eyes.
“I thought the letter would tell me you're looking for.””
She looked at me with exhausted eyes.
“I thought the letter would tell me who David was.””
“Why would a letter addressed to me who David was.””
“Why would a letter addressed to me tell you that?””
“Because he said Renee had written something about him.””
I stared at her.
“Did he tell you that before or after you found the letter?””
“After.””
The tell you that?””
“Because he said Renee had written something about him.””
I stared at her.
“Did he tell you that before or after you found the letter?””
“After.””
The answer came too quickly.
I looked at Jordan.
He shook his head slowly, as though he were beginning to understand answer came too quickly.
I looked at Jordan.
He shook his head slowly, as though he were beginning to understand how much his mother had concealed from how much his mother had concealed from him as well.
Denise gathered the photographs into a neat stack.
“Marcus, there's something else you should know. Mom wrote him as well.
Denise gathered the photographs into a neat stack.
“Marcus, there's something else you should know. Mom wrote that Renee had asked her to keep the letter because she was worried about how it might affect Michael.””
I looked at that Renee had asked her to keep the letter because she was worried about how it might affect Michael.””
I looked at the note.
“Did she explain why?””
“No. But she wrote one final sentence.””
Denise turned the paper over.
Her the note.
“Did she explain why?””
“No. But she wrote one final sentence.””
Denise turned the paper over.
Her voice became quieter as she read.
“*Whatever the letter reveals, remember that Renee voice became quieter as she read.
“Whatever the letter reveals, remember that Renee's love for Michael was never in question. Do not let the mistakes, fears, or secrets of the adults become a burden he has's love for Michael was never in question. Do not let the mistakes, fears, or secrets of the adults become a burden he has to carry.”
Michael stared at the floor.
I put my hand over his.
He held on tightly.
Sarah to carry.*”
Michael stared at the floor.
I put my hand over his.
He held on tightly.
Sarah watched us, tears sliding silently down her cheeks.
For the first time, I wondered whether she had begun this search because she wanted to hurt us or because somebody had convinced her that there was watched us, tears sliding silently down her cheeks.
For the first time, I wondered whether she had begun this search because she wanted to hurt us or because somebody had convinced her that there was a truth worth uncovering.
But even if fear had driven her, it did not excuse what she had done.
a truth worth uncovering.
But even if fear had driven her, it did not excuse what she had done.
“You're going to tell us everything you know about David,” I said.
“And you're going to help us find that letter.””
She nodded.
“I will.””
“No more secrets.””
“I understand.””
I wanted to believe her.
I wanted to believe that the worst of it was behind us, that the missing letter could be recovered and the damage to Michael's heart could begin to heal.
Then Denise“You're going to tell us everything you know about David,” I said.
“And you're going to help us find that letter.””
She nodded.
“I will.””
“No more secrets.””
“I understand.””
I wanted to believe her.
I wanted to believe that the worst of it was behind us, that the missing letter could be recovered and the damage to Michael's heart could begin to heal.
Then Denise reached into her bag one last time.
“There was one reached into her bag one last time.
“There was one other thing Mom left,” she said.
She placed a small photograph on the table.
It showed Renee sitting in a hospital bed, pale but smiling faintly at the camera. My mother had taken the picture during one of her visits.
On the back, in Renee's handwriting, were six words.
Marcus must know what really happened.
I read the sentence twice.
Then a third time.
My hands went cold.
Because I had spent eight years believing I knew exactly what had happened the night my wife died.
And now, for the first time, I was no longer certain that the story I had told myself was the whole truth. other thing Mom left,” she said.
She placed a small photograph on the table.
It showed Renee sitting in a hospital bed, pale but smiling faintly at the camera. My mother had taken the picture during one of her visits.
On the back, in Renee's handwriting, were six words.
Marcus must know what really happened.
I read the sentence twice.
Then a third time.
My hands went cold.
May you like
Because I had spent eight years believing I knew exactly what had happened the night my wife died.
And now, for the first time, I was no longer certain that the story I had told myself was the whole truth.
