Chapter 2: The Man She Wasn't Allowed to Save
Alexa pulled the front door open.
Cold night air rushed into the foyer, carrying the scent of wet grass and distant rain. She could see her car waiting at the end of the driveway, its silver body reflecting the porch lights. It was less than thirty steps away.
Thirty steps between her and the hospital.
Thirty steps between her and a man who had once held her hand while she cried over her mother's grave.
She stepped outside.
“Alexa!””
Pascal's voice followed her into the night.
She stopped on the porch, one hand gripping her coat, the other wrapped around her keys.
“Please don't do this,” she said without turning around.
“Not tonight.””
“Then turn around and talk to me.””
She looked back.
Pascal stood in the doorway, his face half-lit by the foyer lights. The sight of him there, in the entrance to their beautiful home, made the situation feel unreal. Only an hour ago, they had been in the kitchen discussing a weekend trip.
He had kissed her forehead while she washed a glass. She had laughed at something he said.
Now he was looking at her as if she had betrayed him.
“We have talked,” she said.
“I've explained what's happening.””
“No. You've told me what you want to do. That's not the same thing.””
“James is critically ill.””
“And Noah needs you.””
“Yes!””
The word burst out of her before she could stop it.
Pascal's face hardened.
Alexa immediately shook her head.
“Not like that. He needs his friend. His father is in the hospital, and he doesn't know what to do.””
“Then he can call somebody else.””
“He called me.””
“And you answered.””
She stared at him.
“Are you listening to yourself?””
“I'm listening to my wife explain why another man deserves her attention at midnight.””
“Because his father might die!””
“And what happens when his father doesn't die? What happens tomorrow? Next week? The next time Noah needs you?””
Alexa descended one step from the porch, trying to keep her voice steady.
“Then I'll decide what I can do, just like any other person with a friend in trouble. This isn't a competition.””
“It is when you make it one.””
“I haven't made anything a competition!””
Her voice cracked across the driveway.
Pascal came outside and let the door swing shut behind him. He didn't come down the steps immediately. Instead, he watched her from the porch, his hands curled at his sides.
“You know what hurts the most?”” he asked.
Alexa said nothing.
“It's not even that you're leaving. It's that you don't seem to understand why this is a problem.””
She pressed her lips together.
“Because there is no problem with me going to the hospital.””
“There's a problem with the way you treat me when he calls.””
“Pascal, I have never cheated on you.””
“I didn't say you did.””
“You're acting like I did.””
“Maybe because you keep giving me reasons to wonder where I stand.””
She stared at him, stunned.
“What reasons?””
He descended the steps, one at a time.
“The dinners you cancel because Noah needs something. The calls you take in another room. The way you defend him before I can even finish a sentence. The way his name changes your whole face.””
Alexa's stomach tightened.
“His father is the reason I have family outside my own blood. You know that. You've known that since before we got married.””
“Don't bring our marriage into this like I'm the one who doesn't understand it.””
“Then understand me!””
The plea came out raw.
She took another step toward him, forcing herself to meet his eyes.
“I am asking you to let me go be there for someone who has been there for me. That's all. I am not asking to spend the night with Noah.
I'm not asking to leave our marriage. I'm asking to go to a hospital.””
Pascal looked away, shaking his head.
“It's always so simple when you explain it.””
“Because it is simple!””
“No, Alexa. It isn't.””
His voice rose.
“You don't get to tell me what this marriage means while acting like my feelings don't matter. You don't get to decide that I'm supposed to swallow every uncomfortable thing because you have a good excuse.””
She recoiled as if he'd slapped her with the words.
“Your feelings matter,” she said.
“They matter so much that I've spent the last twenty minutes trying to convince you that I love you while somebody else's father is dying.””
“Then stay.””
The command was quiet.
Alexa went still.
“What?””
“Stay here.””
She searched his face for a sign that he was joking, that he had finally heard himself and would take the words back.
He didn't.
“Pascal, I can't.””
“Why not?””
“Because I promised Noah I'd come.””
“And what about the promises you made to me?””
Her eyes filled with tears.
“I have kept those promises.””
“Have you?””
“Yes!””
“Then prove it.””
Alexa looked down at the keys in her hand. The metal teeth had left small marks against her palm. She loosened her grip, then closed it again.
“Please don't ask me to do this.””
“I'm asking you to put your husband first.””
“And I'm telling you that loving you doesn't mean I have to abandon everybody else.””
Pascal stepped closer.
“Everybody else? Is that what he is to you? Everybody else?””
“Noah is my friend.””
“Your friend.”” Pascal said the words with a bitterness that made them sound obscene.
“You keep hiding behind that word as if saying it enough times will make me blind.””
Alexa wiped a tear from her cheek.
“I am not hiding anything.””
“Then look me in the eye and tell me there has never been a moment when you've wanted him more than you wanted me.””
Her breath caught.
“That's not fair.””
“Answer me!””
She stared at him.
The question wasn't about tonight anymore. It wasn't even about Noah. Pascal was demanding that she defend every friendship, every memory, every piece of her life that had existed before him. He wanted a confession that would prove his suspicions right, and she knew that no answer she gave could satisfy him.
“I chose you,” she whispered.
“I married you. I built a life with you. What else do you want me to say?””
“I want you to stop acting like he has a place in your life that I can't touch.””
“He does have a place in my life. He's my friend. That doesn't take anything away from you.””
Pascal's face twisted.
“There it is.””
“What?””
“You can't even say it. You can't say that I matter more.””
Alexa shook her head, tears sliding down her face.
“This isn't about who matters more. This is about a man who may not live through the night.””
“And if I were the one in that hospital bed?”” Pascal demanded.
“If I were lying there, fighting for my life, would you expect Noah to come running? Would you expect him to stand aside and let you be my wife?””
“Of course I would want you to be okay! And of course I would want my friends to support me!””
“But you don't see it, do you?””
He stepped so close that she had to tilt her head to maintain eye contact.
“You keep telling me that I have nothing to worry about, but every time I ask you to choose us, you make me feel like I'm asking for something terrible.””
Alexa's shoulders trembled.
“Because you're not asking me to choose us. You're asking me to leave somebody alone in the worst moment of his life.””
“Then maybe you should ask yourself why you're so desperate to be there.””
She went completely still.
For the first time that night, her grief gave way to something harder.
“Take that back.””
Pascal blinked.
“What?””
“Take it back. You don't get to turn my concern for a dying man into something dirty just because you can't control how you feel about Noah.””
His mouth tightened.
“Watch your tone.””
“No.”” She shook her head, finding a strength that had been buried beneath her apologies.
“You watch yours. I have been patient with you. I've explained myself.
I've begged you to trust me. But I will not stand here and let you make me ashamed of caring about somebody.””
Pascal's eyes burned.
“Then go.””
The words landed between them like a challenge.
Alexa looked toward her car.
For one heartbeat, she thought he was finally letting her leave.
Then he spoke again.
“And don't expect me to pretend this means nothing when you come back.””
She turned toward him, her hand trembling around the keys.
“Are you threatening me?””
“I'm telling you that choices have consequences.””
She looked at the open driveway, the dark road beyond the gate, and the phone in her hand.
At the hospital, Noah was waiting for news about his father.
At home, her husband was demanding that she prove her love by refusing to help him.
There was no time left to negotiate with either reality.
Alexa took a step toward her car.
Pascal's voice followed her, colder now, stripped of even the appearance of a plea.
“If you walk out that door, Alexa, you need to understand exactly what you're choosing.””
She stopped.
The keys hung motionless at her side.
May you like
Slowly, she turned back toward him.
And Pascal, standing beneath the bright porch lights of the home they had built together, prepared to make his jealousy the price of her freedom.
