CHAPTER 10
The yellow flowers became Lily's project.
Not mine.
Dr. Harper suggested that mattered.
"She had control taken from her," she explained. "Give her safe opportunities to make decisions."
So Lily chose everything.
Sunflowers.
Black-eyed Susans.
Yellow roses because Grandma said they were stubborn enough to survive my gardening skills.
Thomas prepared the soil.
Lily planted the first seed herself.
Noah mostly ate dirt.
We stopped him.
Repeatedly.
For the first time since Vanessa's arrest, Lily asked to invite a friend over.
Her name was Sophie.
I nearly turned the visit into a military operation.
Security checks.
Staff instructions.
Restricted gates.
Claire finally took my phone.
"You're doing it again."
"What?"
"Trying to control every possible danger."
"I have reason."
"Yes."
She lowered her voice.
"But Lily needs a childhood, not a security briefing."
I looked across the yard.
Lily and Sophie were making bracelets.
I exhaled.
"Give me my phone."
"No."
"Claire."
"No."
"You are enjoying this."
"Immensely."
Our relationship was healing faster through irritation than apologies.
Maybe that was normal.
The criminal case moved forward.
The prosecutor, Dana Whitaker, met with me privately.
"Vanessa's defense is shifting."
"To what?"
"They're likely to argue diminished emotional capacity due to stress."
"Stress made her build a hidden room?"
Dana didn't react.
"They may also argue she never intended serious physical harm."
"She planned to take the children."
"That's a separate charge under investigation."
I leaned forward.
"What do you need from me?"
"Patience."
"I hate that answer."
"Most victims' families do."
Victims.
The word still felt foreign.
Lily wasn't a case file.
She was a child who hated peas and loved glitter.
Noah wasn't evidence.
He was a toddler who thought socks belonged in toilets.
But the legal system required everything to become categories.
Exhibits.
Statements.
Timelines.
I gave Dana whatever she asked for.
Travel calendars.
Financial records.
Emails.
I also gave her something I wasn't proud of.
My failures.
Missed school events.
Canceled dinners.
A recital I had forgotten.
I refused to let Vanessa's attorneys discover them and pretend I had hidden them.
"I wasn't present enough," I said.
Dana looked at me.
"That doesn't make you abusive."
"I know."
"Do you?"
I considered.
"I'm learning."
Two weeks later, the forensic interview happened.
I wasn't allowed in the room.
Lily knew that ahead of time.
She wore her favorite purple sweater.
Before entering, she grabbed my hand.
"What if I forget?"
"Then you say you forgot."
"What if I get confused?"
"Then you say you're confused."
"What if they ask something I don't want to answer?"
"You can tell them."
She looked at me carefully.
"I don't have to make anybody happy?"
My throat tightened.
"No."
"Even the police?"
"No."
"Even you?"
That one hurt.
"Especially me."
She stared.
Then nodded.
"Okay."
The interview lasted seventy minutes.
The longest seventy minutes of my life.
When Lily emerged, she didn't look broken.
She looked tired.
"Can we get fries?"
I almost laughed from relief.
"Absolutely."
"Milkshake?"
"Obviously."
"Sprinkles?"
"On fries?"
She grinned.
"Maybe."
We went to a diner where nobody recognized us.
Or if they did, nobody bothered us.
Lily dipped fries into vanilla shake.
It was disgusting.
She insisted I try it.
I did.
Still disgusting.
She laughed so hard milkshake came out her nose.
That sound became my definition of winning.
That evening, Dana called.
"The interview was strong."
I hated that phrase.
"She's seven."
"I know."
"What did she say?"
"I can't discuss every detail before discovery."
"She's my daughter."
"And protecting the integrity of her statement protects her."
I hated that too.
But I listened.
Dana softened.
"She was consistent."
"About what?"
"About Vanessa instructing her to lie. About punishments. About being locked outside."
My hand tightened around the phone.
"Anything else?"
A pause.
"She described an incident involving Noah."
I sat down.
"What incident?"
"Vanessa left him alone in a bathtub."
My blood turned cold.
"For how long?"
"Lily doesn't know."
"Was he hurt?"
"No."
"Why didn't she tell me?"
"Because Vanessa told her if she did, Noah would be taken away."
I closed my eyes.
Fear lasts longer than bruises.
The message replayed in my mind.
I walked into Noah's room.
He was asleep.
Perfectly safe now.
I sat on the floor beside his crib until midnight.
The next morning, James called.
"The divorce case has moved."
"Good."
"Vanessa wants mediation."
"No."
"Financially, it's smart."
"She stole money."
"Which is why settlement may save years."
"What does she want?"
"Less than before."
"How much?"
He told me.
I laughed.
"No."
"Don't decide emotionally."
"I'm not."
"You sound emotional."
"I am emotional. That doesn't mean I'm irrational."
I walked toward the yellow garden.
"She wants money from the family she terrorized."
"She may legally be entitled to some assets."
"Then a judge can tell me."
James sighed.
"You realize trials are ugly."
"I'm already living ugly."
He paused.
"Fair."
Then he added, "There's a development with Mark."
"What?"
"He wants to cooperate."
My eyebrows rose.
"Against Vanessa?"
"Against everyone."
"What does he want?"
"Reduced charges."
Of course.
"What can he give them?"
James lowered his voice.
"Apparently, the full plan."
My stomach tightened.
"What full plan?"
"The passports. The private flight. The custody setup."
I stopped walking.
"And the children?"
"He claims he knows where Vanessa intended to take them."
I looked at Lily kneeling among the flowers.
"Where?"
"Portugal."
"Why Portugal?"
"Mark says Vanessa had access to a villa through a friend."
"How long?"
James went quiet.
"Indefinitely."
I stared at my daughter.
I had spent years believing the greatest danger to my family was something outside our gates.
Burglars.
Kidnappers.
Strangers.
I had paid guards to keep danger out.
All while danger ate dinner at my table.
That afternoon, Dana confirmed Mark's proffer.
Vanessa planned to leave while I traveled.
Then she would contact me privately.
She would claim I had frightened her into fleeing with the children.
She believed I would negotiate quietly to avoid scandal.
Money.
Property.
Control of certain accounts.
In exchange, she would eventually return Lily and Noah under conditions favorable to her custody case.
"She was going to use them as leverage."
Dana didn't soften it.
"Yes."
I sat in silence.
Then I asked the only question that mattered.
"Will Lily have to testify at trial?"
"Maybe not."
"If there is any way to avoid it..."
"We'll try."
I nodded.
When I returned home, Lily was waiting.
She held one sunflower seedling between both hands.
"Thomas says this one needs a name."
"A name?"
"Yes."
I considered.
"How about Kevin?"
She looked horrified.
"That's a terrible flower name."
"I apologize to all Kevins."
She rolled her eyes.
Then she smiled.
"I'm naming it Brave."
I looked at the fragile green stem.
May you like
"Why?"
"Because it grew where the doghouse was."
